This post is originally from February 7, 2013
Ok, ok, so I said good bye from Ometepe Island, but I have to rewind here… On our last night on the island Michelle and I pass a sink on the way back to our Homestay house. In the sink are at least 5 roaches, and Michelle turns to me and says, thank god our house doesn’t have a roach problem like that. Little did we know that soon we would be part of a losing battle. We get in our room and it is literally swarming with roaches. You know, the flying kind that hit the wall and make noise and then dive bomb you?? And no I am not exaggerating! So here we are in our room trying to dodge the dirty suckers while wiping off our beds from the other random bugs. Then once we lifted our pillows there were more roaches hiding and waiting to pounce. It was freaking insane!!! Michelle probably killed about 15 herself. I was a little quicker on the war and got my mosquito net around my bed and tucked in. I sat in my safe haven and watched the spectacle as poor Michelle kept up the fight. Literally she would get one off the bed and two more would reappear. I couldn’t contain myself – laughed my ass off. We probably woke up all the neighbors since our walls didn’t touch the roof. Finally the piece de resistance in Michelle’s fight was a lizard in her bed. Eventually she got herself all tucked in when she realized the last remaining roach was tucked right in with her she didn’t have the gusto to fight any longer. Roach vs Michelle…Roach is the winner!
Hours later and I have to pee. Now the toilet is not connected but around the corner outside. After I waited until the very last moment and my bladder was about to burst I decided to risk it. I untucked myself from my netting and got the courage to go outside in the dark. Mid pee I look down and there with my own two eyes I see a freaking SCORPION. This isn’t just any ordinary scorpion – it is literally the length of my middle finger. Its clampers were in full view and it was literally going towards my feet. Mid pee I jumped up and it changed direction and went towards me as I threw myself against the tin door. Now remember…this is about 3am and I know everyone is sleeping so instead of a full on scream I am gasping in fear. This scorpion was after me!!! Again I am not making this shit up. I changed directions and it would too. I flew out of there as fast as I physically could but opening a tiny metal latch at top speed in the middle of the night while taking a piss isn’t my forte!